will you be my american boy

i hope that this post doesn't come off seeming too sex and the city-wannabe-ish, although i realize i run the risk of doing so in broaching this topic.

and i may be many things, but i am no tool.

(no offense to any diehard sex and the city fans out there. for the record, i myself think that sex and the city is, and will always be, awesome. i just hate the way some girls refer to it/quote it incessantly, treating it like some sort of holy book. you know, "maybe our friends are our soulmates, and guys are just people to have fun with." ugh...VOMMM.)

anyway, i digress.

friends back home keep asking if i've met anybody over here so far. which i haven't. mostly because i'm too poor to go out very much (1o euros for a cocktail? nooo thank you. i'll just stay in and go to bed early...you know, get the most out of the ridiculous rent i'm paying.)

the few times i have been out though, i have arrived at the conclusion that: i find french men repulsive.

i know i should try and be more open-minded, and obviously that statement is a conclusion reached by my making sweeping generalizations about an entire population of individuals. all i know is, if you're someone like me, who enjoys personal space, and similar boundaries in new and uncertain social situations (and in life more generally) french men probably ain't gonna be your cup o' tea.

first, the lines...oh dear lord, the LINES. their accents might cause them to seem particularly insincere when they say things like "baby, you're the love of my life! come back!" but no, they remain painfully cheesy, even when operating in their native language. at first, it's easy to be mistakenly flattered by it all...that is, until you realize how undiscriminating they are. if you look like you might happen to possess a vagina, chances are you'll be hit on.

second, french men are extremely persistent. in any other situation, persistence is an admirable quality. not so when that persistence is being applied to...oh, i don't know...sexual harassment of a stranger who isn't the least bit interested in your advances.

take yesterday for example. i went out for a run...around noon on a weekday, mind you...and first encountered one group of four or five guys hootin and hollerin (easily dealt with by turning up the weezy and cruising past), and then, about five minutes later, another group of winners. one of whom attempted to block my path on the sidewalk, and then proceeded to chase me down the street for about four blocks, yelling things like "you're sexy! i love you!" all the while tugging at the sleeve of my t-shirt.

NOT OKAY.

part of me thinks i might be overreacting a little bit. i know it's not really a big deal in the long run, but i can't help but be angered thinking about this type of behavior. i shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable about my decision to go out to a bar or a club, and i really shouldn't have to feel uneasy about going for a run in the middle of the day. when you think about it, it's actually very demeaning. to not even stop to consider how your words and actions are going to be received by the other HUMAN BEING you happen to be communicating with. (the french men i've encountered thus far are much too busy focusing on the combination of ass and breasts at hand. [pun very much intended, because they're not above a little grab-action.])

so, the question of the century is...are these tactics reserved for use on "slutty americans," or are they employed to ensnare french women as well? and if so, are they actually effective? would things be different if i spoke the language fluently?

my guess is no. a french-canadian friend of mine recently told me about a guy she would run into at the market every week, who kept asking for her phone number. when she finally gave it to him, she received countless texts begging her for a date, saying things about how he feels as though there's something really special between them, blah blah blah. (keep in mind, they had maybe spoken for a minute each sunday when she purchased vegetables from his stand...and that's it.)

so then, perhaps there does seem to be some sort of cultural chasm in operation here, and maybe french women are just better equipped to deal with it all, having grown up around it. (i should really do my best to observe more carefully how they handle it next time i'm out and about.) yes, ignoring it works in most situations. but "ignoring it" doesn't quite cut it when someone has grabbed you by the arm in a club and is dragging you along with him. if someone gets up in my grill without my permission, they're gonna hear about it.

now, obviously things like this occur in the states too. just far less frequently, and with much less intensity. ah, makes me long for those good old american boys. i miss safely giving my phone number out to people, knowing there exists a 50/50 chance i might not ever hear from them again.

on that happy note, before we part, i'd like to leave you with some words of wisdom from everyone's favorite single gal, carrie bradshaw:
“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

no, just kidding, i leave you with this music video. a little ode to all you american boyz out there (i seriously cannot stop listening to this song.)



(and yes, you can go ahead and scratch from the record my previous statement regarding my NOT being a tool.)